saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
