If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There's always time for handjobs
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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