I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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