Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
