Non-Jews are for practice
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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