note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just had sex on a roof
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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