my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
