Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
