you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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