honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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