"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
