Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
