come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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