i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize