i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
