I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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