Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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