Well apparently he's into motor boating.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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