Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize