We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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