I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
