Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
