Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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