just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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