so explain again why im purple
no
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
