I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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