Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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