I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
