I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
