She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
