Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
