whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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