There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
