that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
