At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
