I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This is the high leading the old right now
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
