Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize