Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
