Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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