hell yes lets make some ravioli
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
