you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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