my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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