Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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