just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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