Where did you get a picture of my penis
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
