So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
