I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i think i just lost a toe
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
