Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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