can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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