i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
