well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
