What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
