She's JV to your varsity
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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