Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
