Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
