sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
