obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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