I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
