You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
