He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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